Friday, July 12, 2013

To be or Not to be?

Just in the blink of an eye, a year has passed since my entry into college. What was supposed to be a smooth sailing, error-free journey turned out to be more than what I had bargained for. Well, leaving the countless dramas, exams, results and most importantly BOYS aside, MUFY has definitely crafted me to be someone I once dreamt off. Someone responsible, matured and smart. No, not the scoring 100 in every exam kind of smart but instead the I-know-what-to-do kind of smart.

Not denying the fact that quite often, I slipped into the dreaded territory of laziness and procrastination, I believe that I have managed to climb out of that dungeon to stay out where I am today. That's what I mean by being smart. Obviously, the fruit of all these sacrifices and lessons was my highly precious Subject Award for Accounting. Emerging as the Top Student for Accounting amongst students across 5 countries is something to cry about. Yes, undoubtedly that was and will always be one of the most remembered moments in my life.

Well now what? My hopes for the future? My dream for Monash?

Being a top student in Pre-U, stepping into a geniuses filled classroom of 42, it felt almost impossible to keep up the standard. Here, my subject award mattered as much as the dust in the classroom. I had to play it low, show that I'm just like them. I had to push and compress the pride of being a top student within me and find a way to compete amongst these people to reach the top. I felt pressured, stressed and annoyed that the competition of being the best never stops. You achieve something and there's always something better to achieve, someone better to compete against. The reality of it hit me hard...

What was I going to do? Be just another fish in the ocean or be that shark in a pool of dolphins? Well of course, being that shark meant I had to kill everyone else around me. I have just entered the highly competitive world of Monash University. Its either compete with the rest or lose out in the battle. It was/is the battle of the season. BUT, I am born Malaysian with natural Asian competitive blood in me. Soooo I made up my mind on that very first day itself that I was going to compete. Go all head in to be the best among what already seemed like the best. To emerge as that one top student amongst people and friends who are all equally or perhaps even more capable of pulling out such stunts

Today, here I stand as a Monash student who just completed her first semester. Did I do extremely well in order to be that shark? Or am I still a fish in the ocean? I'm yet to find out, Nevertheless, I believe that I am giving my best and if that's not enough, than I will just have to increase my definition of BEST. I sure do hope to be what I have always dreamt off. That smart, matured and responsible girl

To those who are watching my footsteps closely to see when I will fall, to those who are walking with me through my journey, to those who are/were always there to carry me  when I fall... watch me do it!

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Are you from India?

Quite often I'm approached with the question "Are you from India?" When I answer with a simple "No, I'm Malaysian.", a whole rigmarole of questions follow inquiring on my originality and roots. Most foreigners mistake me for an Indian citizen probably due to the very much Indian look I inherited from my ancestors. Its not like I can do anything much about it as for the moment, we don't have a particular look for Malaysians.

Ladies and gentlemen, my roots are from a beautiful country called India. My ancestors came to what was then known as Malay in search for a better lifestyle. When The British granted independence, these fraction of Indians were left over here thus forming the current Indian generation in Malaysia. It is due to the fact that my origin is India, my race is identified as Indian. However, this does not classify us as members of that country. At the end of the day, I was born and bred in Malaysia. As far as I'm concerned, this is my country and I am a Malaysian!

There is yet again the issue on whether we are forgetting our roots, our origins. I have repeatedly been plastered with the statement that since your roots are from India, you should be an Indian. Well fellow readers, my roots does not make me an Indian citizen. MY history began in this country. MY story started in Malaysia. MY life belongs in Malaysia. What more reasons needed to call myself a Malaysian?

We are proud of our nationality thus we identify ourselves as Malaysians instead of Malays, Chinese or Indians. But this does not mean that we forget our roots or are being embarrassed of it.

Hopefully at least some of those who read this understand the concept of Malaysian Malaysians :)

Friday, June 15, 2012

Question of the Century


For many centuries maybe even longer, poets, authors, researches, singers, songwriters, artists, actors, directors and many other people from all walks of life have been trying to answer this important question but to no avail. People have by far not succeeded in finding an answer simply because the definition of LOVE is not found in books or written papers. It is indeed found in oneself thus differing in view from individual to individual.

Personally to me, love is not a situation describable by words but actions. As they say, actions speak louder than words. Love exists when two individuals share a form of affection and care for one another. A situation where these two are bound together by a tie of emotions and feelings. It is when they exist in harmony as best friends, lovers, mother-child, and so on. Love is the connection between human beings. Without it, the human civilisation may have ceased to exist. Love is the beautiful feeling of unison of the heart and brain. Love is the start of life and love is the formation of relationships. In whole, love is the basic need of every living creature.

When people tend to expect too much out of it, love becomes a nuisance. It creates hurt and sadness which leads to disbelievers. As long as we are able to accept the concept of love as a universal language of care and affection, the true meaning of love can be enjoyed by individual in their own way.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Celebrating uniqueness

A plum once said, just because a banana lover came by, I converted myself into a banana. Unfortunately, his taste changed after a few months and so I became an orange. When he said I was bitter I became an apple, but he went in search of grapes. Yielding to the opinions of so many people, I have changed so many times that I no more know who I am. How I wish I had remained a plum and waited for a plum lover...

That is just another example of how vain humans can be. We try our level best to change ourselves to satisfy others without realising that the change will only destroy us a slow pace. Just because a group of people do not accept us as what we are, there is no necessity for us to strip ourrself of our originality, our uniqueness. We need to think good of ourself, for the world takes us at our own estimate. Never step down in order to gain recognition. Never let go of your true self to win another. In the long run, we will regret that we traded our greatest glory - our uniqueness, for momentary happiness. Even Gandhi was not accepted by many people. That did not change him from being who he is today, a revolutionary man! The group that does not accept you the way you are, is not your world.

There is a world for each one of us, where I shall reign as queen by just being myself. Find that world... in fact, that world will find us.

What water can do, gasoline cannot and what copper can, gold cannot.  Everything and everybody has been designed with a proportion of uniqueness to serve a purpose that we can fulfill only by being our unique self. You as you alone can serve your purpose and I as I alone can serve my purpose. You are here to be you... just you.

There was a time in this world when a Krishna was required and he was sent; a time when a Christ was required and he was sent; a time when a Mahatma was required and he was sent; There came a time when you were required on this planet and hence you were sent. Let us be the best we can be. Don't miss yourself and let the world not miss you.
In the history of the universe, there has been nobody like you and to the infinite of time to come, there will be no one like you.You are original. You are rare. You are unique. You are a wonder. You are a masterpiece... your Master's piece. Celebrate your Uniqueness!

(Mahatma Gandhi)

Monday, April 30, 2012

A new beginning

No, the glasses is not part of the new beginning!
Its been a relatively long time since I visited this dear blog of mine and in the course of these months, so many things has changed. For starters, I'm no more a high school student. Those beautiful moments are now a bundle of memories that shall remain in some corner of my heart. This year has given me a new course of direction, a new beginning. Being in college, being a legal teenager (Yes! Im EIGHTEEN :D), being in a whole new environment and most importantly, growing up... 2012 has given me all these as I anticipate much more.

As I step into that whirlwind of college life, I begin to face the imminent shadow of growing up... To become a responsible, matured teenager...

I hope to keep up with this blog and I really hope that I get some inspiration to write, a passion I have had and will always have. Before I end this post, let me share with you an article I wrote for my beloved class of 5 Browser <3

“Ashwinee, you go to 4 Browser.” My teacher informed me. It was a week after school started in 2010 and the classes were being rearranged. Moving from 4 Cyberlink to 4 Browser, there was only one thing in my mind. Hopefully I make new friends. Thinking about it now, it seems like one big joke. As quick as a snap of the finger, we bonded. The whole class became one big family. We were put together into one class from the 13 different classes in Form 3. Yet, that did not stop us from being the best friends we are today.We are like a one big plate of Nasi Lemak. The different people we are, we make each other complete like the different ingredients of Nasi Lemak. Together, the difference among us brings out the true identity of our class. Form 5 is known to be the “hell” year. To us, it is a honeymoon year in very possible aspect. Every day, we take vacations to different worlds of our own.

“Shh… Pn.Heng is coming.” our class monitor commands. The whole class scrambles back to its place like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle put back together. Our Maths lessons with Pn.Heng are nevertheless full of knowledge and learning. Next, we travel to Biology land where it’s all about fooling around with the display items in the lab and Chemistry land where there is all those colourful liquids and flammable stuff as we call it. Town of Add Maths and numbers, English Street, Tower of Physics and Jalan Bahasa Malayisa are among our destinations before we end our travelling and head back home. The main aspect that makes learning or “vacations” fun is the fact that we are together.

Whether it is dissecting frogs or mixing liquids, as long as you are in 5 Browser, you would enjoy it. Over the last 2 years, we have also accepted new members to the family. Yet again, in a split second we have bonded. Among the many things that make a class special are the people in it. 5 Browser is a true display of racial harmony and unity. We have Malays, Chinese, Indians, prefects, librarians, students, and even a “mat salleh” mix in our class. Yes, at times there is the friction between us... the occasional dramas, the fights, the arguments.. .but at the end of the day, we all realize the fact that we are indeed friends.

The single, double and triple bonds are just names we learn in Chemistry. What we share is a bond far stronger and special than that. It is called the friendship. We each have our own best friends and enemies but among us, we are all the same. As my friend would put it, we may be milk chocolate, dark chocolate and white chocolate, but the reality is we are all chocolates! The sweet temptation that you simply can’t resist.  We know it as 5 Browser. If you happen to walk into 5 Browser on a regular schooling day. Beware! Every day is a scene of ‘pasar malam’ in our class. There will be shouting, screaming, singing, arguing, sometimes even dancing going around. Yet, the moment the teacher enters the class, we are ready to stop everything and turn into diligent students(yeah right!) Manchester United and Liverpool debates are among the hot items of the day. I’m usually a member of the debate team. “Aiyo..Man U don’t know how to play wan lar!” One would shout. “Like Liverpool so great lar. My grandmother also can play better than that.” The other would reply. This is the everyday situation. Despite the several harmless arguments we get into, when the bell rings at 1.10 sharp, the excited screams and laughter coming from the class shows the similarity among us.
Like paper and ink, like sugar and ants, like moon and the stars, like yin and yang, we are incomplete without each other. Every one of the members of 5 Browser make up the massive family we are. The nerds, the popular, the drama queens, the sporty and the musically gifted are among the names of groups you often hear in high schools. We only know ourselves as one group and that is 5 Browser.

Last  year, we all reached the pinnacle of secondary school life, SPM. Yes, facing the exams and studies and revision may have been though but we had so much of fun in the process. The memories we shared, the moments of laughter and joy, the silly things we did together as one class will always remain treasured forever. It is not every day, you can be part of such a team. I am part of one and will always be. To all the members of 5 Browser 2011, thank you for giving me the chance to experience what it means to be ONE FAMILY. .

This is dedicated to the dudes and dudettes of 5 Browser 2011…
 Hakim, Firman, Amirul, Ashwinee, Ariel, Joey, Darren, Denise, Ding, Esther, Farid, Kah Mei, Gayathiri, Grace, Haish, Hani, Harresh, Jeremiah, Kapil, Haziq, Jia Wei, Johnson, Wan Yin, Michelle, Fatin, Fazira, Lay See, Pearl, Zhi Kang, Praveena, Revathi, Sasha, Ya Qi, Hou Yi, Crystal, Po Hong, Tan Ying Qi, Tay Ying Qi, Carmen, Malar, Min Ling, Eugene.  

Monday, December 19, 2011

A Long Break

HELLO my loyal readers,
I am back to the world of blogging after a looooooooong break. I know that in the past, I have occasionally taken short breaks form blogging. This time is no different except for the fact that it's been 5 months!! I am not going to start this post by promising you all the delayed posts for I know that I will only end up procrastinating. Instead, I decided to just update you guys on some of the stuff that's been going on in my life recently:-)

1. SPM is over!!!
Now for those of you who probably have no idea what I'm talking about, SPM, also known as Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia is a Form 5 examination sat by every student in Malaysia at the end of their high school life. Totted as the most important exam of our schooling life, SPM is often regarded as grand finale of secondary school.

Like many other Form 5 students around Malaysia, I too sat for this exam which ended on the 8the of December. I'm not going to spend the next fifteen minutes describing the level of hardness of each paper. Instead, I'll just say that I'm feeling pretty relived that it's over. Of course, now I face the whole rigmarole of choosing a course, selecting a college, deciding what I want to do for the next fifty years of my life, getting a license..........

Despite the immense relive and happiness, deep inside I still feel like I want to be back in high school, with my friends and teachers and in my uniform. I miss being a high school student and I definitely miss my school:-)

2. Pn.Teo has left:-(


The woman who was all along regarded as the back bone of SMK USJ 12. The one person who  has the ability to silence the whole school by just standing in front. Without her, the school would not have been able to climb the ladder to reach the position it is in today. She had the vision that brought us to this level. She ensured that SMK USJ 12 will not just be a school but a holistic one too. The Prefects Board looked up to her as a mother, mentor and guardian. Today, she has left the family of SMK USJ 12. As much as we all know that this is towards a better future for her, all Twelveans will still miss this amazing lady. 

Personally, I've had so many good memories with her. She played a huge part in my development as an individual in my high school. So, thank you so much Pn.Teo for all your hard work and commitment towards making our school a better place to be in. 

P.s : I had to take this photo from one of the ex-student's blog because we were not allowed to bring cameras on that day.

3. I'm going for driving lessons!
I just registered for driving with my brother, Pearl, Ruby and Jeremiah. We went for the five hour talk last Thursday which I thought was not as boring as it was made out to be. Next, I'll be going for the Undang test this Saturday. It basically means I have another round of studying to do. I have to read all about the road signs and road ethics. I have come to realize that after actually learning all these stuff, I'm more alert to the way my parents drive. I'll be getting both my bike and driving license by February. 

4. I created Facebook:-)
This is one of those things I promised such a long time ago(back when I was in Form 3) but only now got to do it. Well, better late then never right? For those of you who still have not added me on Facebook, now's your time to do it. However, I only add people I know. So, if you want to add me but I don't know you, please e-mail me. 

I guess that's all the updates I have for now. Till I update again, chiao!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

A Beautiful Song

One of my favourite Disney movies of all time. Aladdin. This song is simply beautiful Never get bored of it!
I wrote this essay for my Mid-Term English paper. The given title was 'The Best Place In My Country'. Of course I thought of writing about a tourist destination or something like that but resorted to this because I wanted to be unique. I guess my "uniqueness" paid off as I got a 47/50 for this essay. It just feels sooo nice when you put so much of effort in a piece and get rewarded for it. Wanted to share it with you guys. Enjoy reading!

P.s The story is part true part fictional. Just to add some chyme to it:-)

With fourteen states, a federal territory and more than a million residents, Malaysia is probably one of the smaller, less-known countries in the world. A place like no other and the home of natural beauty and wonders. However, if there is one other place that I like best in my country why even the world, it would be the place where magic happens, the place where you learn to give and forgive, the place filled with love and laughter and the place that brings a family together. The place called HOME. My home!

Situated in the heart of Selangor in a place called USJ 16, Subang Jaya stands a bright yellow coloured double-storey corner house. Once a building, now a home built with the foundation of two amazing parents, pillars of three charming kids and the walls of a happy family. During the countless times I have walked trough the main entrance, I always take a  moment to stop and ponder over the golden framed family portrait that greats me. In the picture stand five people who are not alien to me. The five people that make my home the best place in my country.

Has anyone ever asked you the question, 'Why is your home so great?' Well, I can answer that question withing the blink of an eye. What makes a house a home? A home is where the heart is. Thus, my home is great because that is where my heart is. Despite having gone on various vacations around the world and having stayed in many hotels, none of these places has what my home has. By now, you are probably starting to wonder why am I so sentimental when it comes to home. I guess it is time to share my story, my secret with you.

I was one of those kinds of babies you hear about. Those that are dumped by their parents. Those that are found in a dustbin or a drain. I was "discovered" by a priest who later handed me over to the orphanage. During the course of the first ten years of my life, I don't remember being in one place. I switched schools, moved from one foster family to another. In a large perspective, my life was completely disastrous. Only I knew how the whole manouvre of switching families affected me emotionally. There was not a single place on earth that I could call home. Not a single soul to call family. I guess there just reached a point in my life where I felt a home is everything mankind needed.

Like the sun appeared from behind the rain clouds, my whole life took a dramatic turn for the better when 'they' came to adopt me. My parents. At that moment that I stepped into that beautiful house, it seemed like paradise. I used to stay up every night on  my knees praying that this dream doesn't end. It was then I started to realize the inner meaning of life, family and love. All my past experiences helped me appreciate this place called home. I started being at home always until my friends thought I was weird.

However, the fact was that after having been shelter-less on many occasions, I was too afraid of losing this place that I can finally call home that I refused to let go. Nowadays, as we go pass the busy roads in Kuala Lumpur, I always look out of the window. What I see, shatters my heart. Little kids, teenagers and even some senior citizens taking shelter under the bridge and by the roadside using only a blanket to shield themselves from the harsh weather. As I step inside my home, it dawns on me how much this building has sheltered me from the cruel realities of the outside world. Obviously, this IS the place I like best in my country.

Would you believe me if I say that magic happens in my house? No, not the kind of magic that happens with the wave of a wand and some colourful explosions but the kind of magic that acts on you like an unseen force. Despite the countless arguments(sometimes even fist fights) that my siblings and I have, despite dad having to chase my brother around the house with a cane, despite my mother's sudden fits of anger, when we sit down at the dinner table 7.30 sharp, we are all one big happy family. Like my dad says, 'A home is truly powerful if it can unite a family during meals.' Now, if that is not magic, I don't know what is.

As you see, over the past seven years of my life, my home has had such a powerful impact on me. My house may not be a bungalow, it may not have the facilities of a hotel, it may not have wooden flooring or gold-plated windows but it has the one thing that a home  needs. Family. As the famous poet Shakespeare so beautifully put it..... the H in HOME stands for Hope, O for One family, M for Memories and E for Everlasting. To me, my house, my home is truly the best place in my country in every aspect possible.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Is peace among mankind possible?

I always ask myself a question...."Is peace among mankind possible?" I've tried countless number of times to answer this but to no avail. I guess the simple answer would be "Yes, it is possible the day people learn to forgive and forget." If you are one of those people who think like this, then think again...

What are the two most important things to mankind? Money and power. If you think about it, most wars, arguments, fights, misunderstandings, international blunders etc revolves around these two things. Just like two children fighting over a sweet, if you give them both a sweet, the fight stops. However, can that be applied in this situation? The logical answer is NO! Money and power are not like sweets which can easily be obtained. These are mega-disastrous elements of life we are talking about. There can only be one powerful man, there can only be one richest guy. Thus, the competition will always be there to so-call be the most powerful man on earth. I believe that until the day money and power starts dropping from the sky, peace among mankind is not possible.

This is because, in every nook and corner of the world, there is a man who has a dream of being powerful(Isn't that like every man's dream?) Would you be satisfied if I were to give you a 50 cents chocolate in exchange of a Belgium chocolate bar? It's the same case here. To the man who dreams of being rich and powerful, there should be no one like him. There is no such thing as second best. When this competition reaches its peak, that's when the human mind instructs you to do things, anything to gain that power and position. This obviously leads to the world's wars. This two elements and the competition for them is what created people like Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden.. When you ponder over it, you realize that the world is made up of many such people. In fact, there is a Saddam and Osama Bin Laden hidden somewhere inside every one of us. However, the simple ability that we posses, the ability to think rationally make us different from them.

Competition is there everywhere. However, the factors at stake is what makes THIS competition disastrous. Money and power is something that mankind can never do without. Thus, until the day that these things become invaluable or easily obtained, peace among mankind is not possible!

P.s This is purely my opinion and not meant to hurt anyone. If you have any disagreements with it, please do kindly contact me:-) 

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Roller coaster ride

I feel that this year has been like a roller coaster ride for me literally. During the first six months, it was like the uphill part of the roller coaster. Things were slow and beautiful. I still had time to enjoy life and dream and so on. The second six months is like the downhill part, Things have started to take speed and it is not good! Before I could even realize, SPM is around the corner. I can barely even think of anything else now and soon when the roller coaster reaches full speed, OH MY GOD!!!!